Description that doesn’t work

“He was cloaked and his face veiled so deep in shadow that it could not be seen, but the firelight caught his eyes.” Problems: 1. If someone is “cloaked” it is a general indication they are “hidden” inside the garment, meaning, they are wearing the hood as well as the cloak. No need to further describe how deeply hidden the cloak makes the character, or that the hood is up, or that the hood is also a cowl. 2. It’s extremely difficult to have a hood so deep that a person’s face is completely hidden by shadow, yet they are still able to move about, notice the scenery and participate in any action other than staring at the ground. Let alone then be able to see firelight in their eyes. Don’t believe me? Try it. [...]

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